ASSORTED DECLARATIONS BY STAFF WRITER
This weekend, I took a nice little adventure deep into the heart of the mighty Poconos. I wasn’t going kayaking or shopping or looking for cheesecake or candles; I was in search of laughs and, to my delight, I found them.
Although I’m not one to seek out stand-up comedy shows on a regular basis, the opportunity to see foul-mouthed comedian Amy Schumer close to home was something I pounced on. Schumer threw out jokes about race, sex, weight issues and the décor and diversity of the crowd gathered to see her at Gypsies Night Club at Mt. Airy Casino Resort — but something happened in between prepared material that really got me thinking.
Someone in a front row, dead center seat was writing down notes as she was delivering her routine. Schumer asked the person if they were covering the show and was greeted with the response, “No. I’m a comedian. I’m taking notes on what to do and what not to do.”
Ms. Schumer offered the note taker some friendly advice: “Well, the first thing you should do is come up with your own material and stop writing down what I’m doing while you’re sitting in the front row of my show.” The crowd went wild and the butt of the joke soon packed away their pad and pen.
This interaction got me thinking. It made me think of the mental notes I make on a day to day, minute to minute basis. It made me think about the different dos and don’ts in my word. Here are a few daily reminders to myself.
- If someone makes a comment about your ginger beard, just grin and nod. Only let people you know touch it and only after they have asked for the proper permission politely.
- Never offer up any type of commentary after seeing a movie trailer in the theatre.
- Try to smell good.
- Know when and where to tuck your shirt in.
- Shoes are important, but so are socks.
- No one likes a music snob. Or a beer snob. Or a movie snob. Generally, don’t be a snob.
- If you get hate mail, read it. If you can shrug it off, cool. If the mail contains personal attacks that are as far away from constructive criticism as possible, read the hate mail out loud in a celebrity voice. I prefer Alan Rickman or Kermit The Frog.
- Don’t curse in front of the wrong people.
- Curse whenever you can if it makes you feel good.
- Make it a point to get together with your friends and make fun of each other. This usually works better with alcohol.
- Life is really serious, and it’s stressful and then you die.
- I have a dog named Parker who is awesome and never complains about anything. Remember to try to be more like Parker.
- Remind everyone around you of their mortality and then quickly change the subject.
- Open doors for people and stay to your right when entering/exiting double doors.
- If someone falls, don’t stop and laugh. Pick them up.
- Listen to everything: music, people, nature, your heartbeat, the desk fan, the tapping of keys on the keyboard.
- Put the toilet seat down.
- Live to fight another day.
- Go for a walk.
- There’s usually time for one more song.
- Change is good and change happens. Embrace change and all the difficulties that surround it when you can.
Here’s what’s in my headphones this week: Kevin Devine Split the Country, Split the Street Reissue (Triple Crown) 2012
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