City Butterfly

SOCIAL NOTES & NEWS FROM YOUR FRIENDS IN THE 570

‘The bigger the hair, the smaller the hips look’
That phrase was made famous by actress Fran Drescher in the hit TV series, The Nanny. Although it was a ’90s TV show, Nanny Fran still rocked ’80s big hair.
We thought of Nanny Fran last weekend because, for the first time in decades, our hair was big. No. Scratch that. Our hair was huge.
Our shoes were made of plastic. Our collars were popped and our Members Only jackets enjoyed one last hurrah this weekend as we went back in time for PA SummerFest: ’80s Mega Mix at Mohegan Sun at Pocono Downs.
And that’s where this week’s flight begins, and ends.
We fluttered onto the scene Friday night with a hunger for cherry pie — Warrant’s Cherry Pie tour, that is. It was hot, humid and the skies looked threatening, but we didn’t care. And neither did the thousands of hair band fans who showed up to rock the night away with Warrant, Firehouse and Trixster. They were head banging into the wee hours of the morning, proving that once again, northeastern PA knows how to par-tay. It was, as they say, a totally rad evening.
Saturday was filled with even more Valley girls and righteous dudes. They came dressed to impress, and we like thought they looked totally gnarly. If you’re too young to remember these ’80s catch phrases, here’s a crash course in ’80s-speak:
Gross — disgusting
Gag a maggot — beyond gross
Gross me out the door — similar to gag a maggot
Gnarly — good or great
Rad — short for radical
Sweet — very good
Bad — really means good
Awesome — extra great
Chill out — relax
Take a chill pill — see chill out
Tubular — beyond cool
Totally — helps emphasize how incredibly cool,
gnarly or tubular omething really is
No duh — obviously
Righteous — something that is totally cool, tubular or radical
Barf Me Out — Valley Girl reaction to some
thing offensive
Gag me with a spoon — similar to Barf Me Out,
but even stronger
Psych! — Ha ha, I faked you out!
Now that you’re caught up on the lingo, back to the festival. We think we may have spotted David Lee Roth and Madonna (not together, though; that’s how rumors get started). Nobody rocks zebra stretch pants like Roth, and nobody brings it like the Material Girl. Needless to say, the competition was tough for the ’80s celebrity look-alike contest. It was also a tough call for the judges when they had to choose the best air guitarist and name the winner of the big hair content. Our prize-winning air guitarist fled like a bat out of hell (oops, sorry, ’70s reference there) before we could catch his name, but we’re pleased to report that “Slash” took home top honors for his do. Were wigs allowed in this contest? Hmmm…
And in the true spirit of the decade of excess, we saw more than one instance of showing off — and we loved it! Was it necessary for some smarty-pants to call out that Kim Wilde’s real name is Kim Smith during DJ Mark Colarossi’s round of name that ’80s tune? Like, everyone knows that. No duh.
But our favorite brave character was known to us only as “Carla.” She became our special guest on Saturday, belting out Pat Benetar tunes and grabbing people from the audience to get out on the dance floor.
As the day went on, the outfits got louder, and so did the music. Tommy Tutone — yes, the Tommy Tutone had everybody dialing 867-5309, and John Parr took us back to the days of St. Elmo’s Fire. We promise to always love When in Rome UK, and we remain obsessed with the fabulous Animotion. When we heard a Flock of Seagulls would be rounding out the night, well, we ran.
Thanks for a totally “bad” weekend, everyone. What say we do it again next year?
— cb