Barbed Wire: Poached Eggheads

Seven redneck pipeline workers hailing from Louisiana and Arkansas were arrested last week and charged with illegally killing deer up Wyoming County way.

The frackin’ idiots were caught with 100-plus pounds of freshly-cut deer meat by wildlife conservation officers Sunday night after they were spotted hauling a white-tailed buck into the bed of their pickup truck.

So why in Hades is your local gossip columnist penning about their illegal Bambi plunderings? Because several times in the past few weeks I’ve had the odious experience of running into like-minded gas drilling lummoxes at my favorite area watering holes. For starters, I happened to be dining al dente at Bazil Restaurant up Clarks Summit way with a bevy of beautiful people gathered ’round the fancy and upscale bar. Before you could order a vodka and bromide, a swarm of out-of-town gas company types were seated next to us, clad in their best Lynyrd Skynyrd T-shirts, button down flannels, dusty Levi’s and mud-encrusted work boots.

Let’s just say the squadron of squatters could have benefitted from a fistful of Crest Whitening Strips and perhaps a dollop of John Frieda Hair Pomade or two.

Then, just last Friday night, yet another crew of beer drinking boors made the scene at Camelot up Waverly way, clad in similar non-fashion and crop dusting patrons with their own natural gas as they made their way throughout the packed establishment.

Now I imagine local business owners don’t see past the green of their cash as the pipeline interlopers infiltrate our area. But is it wrong to ask the lusty laborers to elevate their fashion sense should they decide to rub elbows with the area’s beau monde?

Besides, if they really want to lay some pipe, they’re going to have to clean up their collective acts.

In the meantime, I polished my Jimmy Choos and headed for downtown Scranton this past weekend to check out the newly-named Beko Restaurant which is located where the Martini Grille formerly hung its shingle. While supping on some succulent sushi, I caught site of local movers and shakers Art and Tara Russo who were hosting a gathering of their West Scranton Class of ’86 classmates after a much heralded high school reunion at the nearby Colonnade.

The night before, the power couple also hosted a happy hour at POSH for their Invader brethren and it sure looked the gang was having a kick of a good time. Let’s just say I was dazzled by the gathered gorgeous glitterati which included the likes of Steven Harris, Robert Gasper, Faith and Mike Golay, Regina Piazza, Kristin Janes, Carolyn Jerowski, Gus Gschiedle, Warren Walters, Mitchell Simon, Mark Granahan, Doug Evans, Leo Ciullo and more! A night spent with old friends apparently injected new life into the celebrating clan. They all looked simply marvelous.

Meanwhile, the old Molly Brannigans will have new life injected into in it the form of yet another Irish bar just around the corner on Lackawanna Avenue. Ron Kamionka, who brought us Scranton’s Hardware Bar and Wilkes-Barre’s Mulligan’s Pub, has signed a letter of intent to take over the prominent empty corner property and hopes to have it open in time for the celebrated St. Patrick’s Day parade.

Here’s hoping Kamionka’s luck of the Irish continues with this property.Send e-mail to ruderube@hotmail.com