ASSORTED DECLARATIONS BY STAFF WRITER
Alice, Sweet Alice
Hurry up and hide! Alice Cooper is coming to town. It was announced last week that the original shock rocker will bring his Raise The Dead Tour to the F.M. Kirby Center for the Performing Arts on Oct. 18, just in time for Halloween.
The first time I laid my eyes on the terror of Alice Cooper was during an episode of The Muppet Show. Cooper told one of the Muppets that the monsters in his dressing room aren’t The Muppet Show’s; they’re his. Alice later reveals himself to be an agent of The Devil, offering the Muppets “fabulous riches and worldwide fame” in exchange for their souls. The episode ends with Cooper being served a bill from the special effects department of the show, to which Alice and the Monsters shivered in fear.
The character of Alice Cooper isn’t very real, but the often hilarious and insightful words that come out of his mouth are. Here are some quotes from the great Alice Cooper I think we can all enjoy.
- “I just feel like this whole generation maybe need to all eat a steak. Maybe they just need to quit eating vegetarian food and get out there and get some blood pumping in their system. Rock ‘n’ roll is not about happy, happy, happy, everything’s OK – ‘We’re the Lumineers – let’s clog dance’! It comes from your groin. It’s sexual. It’s tribal.’’
- “If you’re listening to a rock star in order to get your information on who to vote for, you’re a bigger moron than they are.”
- “The hippies wanted peace and love. We wanted Ferraris, blondes and switchblades.”
- “What most people don’t understand is that UFOs are on a cosmic tourist route. That’s why they’re always seen in Arizona, Scotland, and New Mexico. Another thing to consider is that all three of those destinations are good places to play golf. So there’s possibly some connection between aliens and golf.”
- “He (Marilyn Manson) has a woman’s name and wears makeup. How original.”
- “We like reactions — a reaction is walking out on us, a reaction is throwing tomatoes at the stage, that’s a healthy psychological reaction.”
- “I have never made fun of religion. Religion is something I don’t even want to mess with because I am really afraid of the clouds opening up and being struck by lightning.”
- “I’m not crazy about country-western music. But the lyrics are good.”
- “The minute you step on stage, you get eight feet taller.”
- “They should invent some way to tape-record your dreams. I’ve written songs in my dreams that were Beatles songs. Then I’d wake up and they’d be gone.”
- “I appreciate an audience that reacts to the music, even if they jump on stage and try to beat us up. I think that’s a fantastic reaction. I think that they’re really hearing something then.”
- “Oh, I love to lie. That’s one of my favorite things in the world, coming up to somebody, especially press people, and telling them some enormous lie that couldn’t possibly be true.”
- “On stage, I’m this figure, this actor, who does things that people aren’t used to seeing and I relish in that reaction. In real life, though, I play golf, I shop and I walk around with no makeup on and my hair in a ponytail. I may not be the typical middle-aged Joe, but I’m closer to normal than you think.”
Here’s what’s in my headphones this week: Leonard Cohen New Skin for the Old Ceremony (Columbia) 1974