And the Winner Is…

And the Winner Is…

And the Winner Is …

A Reel Reporter Chooses the Best in Film


Insomuch as many of you are trying not to look backwards, we need to keep a certain tradition going: The Boamies. Every February, these dishwasher safe awards of dubious value are given to honor the very best in film … from the previous year, mind you. It’s no accident that these biodegradable trophies of unknown origins get announced every year THISclose to the annual Academy Awards telecast (this year, the program bows on ABC this Sunday at 7 p.m.).
After all, the Boamies ceremony not only includes sadly accurate guesses as to who and what will win the Oscar, they also shoehorn in the important categories that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences seemingly forgot to include.
At an invite-only, black-tie affair catered by the sub shop below a certain Reel Reporter’s condo and attended by the prestigious Boamie Committee (which, not for lack of trying, numbers one person), the following strangely edible paper weights that smell like a burning trailer park were given:

★The Boamie Winners★

Best 2012 Hollywood Film by a ’90s Indie Auteur:
Bernie, Richard Linklater
★ Django Unchained, Quentin Tarantino
Magic Mike, Steven Soderbergh
The Master, Paul Thomas Anderson
Moonrise Kingdom, Wes Anderson

Best Comic Book Flick for Geeks and Models Alike:
The Amazing Spider-Man
The Avengers
★ The Dark Knight Rises
Oh yeah, and the award for Worst Comic Book Flick had only one contender…because it was that bad: ★ Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance.

Best Batting Average for a Hollywood Player:
Judd Apatow, producer/writer/director
Megan Ellison, producer
★ Steven Soderbergh, producer/director
Steven Spielberg, producer/director
Channing Tatum, producer/actor
The Boamie goes to Steven Soderbergh, who turned out the star-studded disaster film Contagion (2011), the spy thriller Haywire, summer sensation Magic Mike, and psychological thriller Side Effects (2013) in the span of 17 months. And they’re all good!

Worst Continuation of a Once-Good Franchise:
★ The Bourne Legacy
Men in Black 3
Resident Evil: Retribution
Underworld: Awakening
Bourne stands head and shoulders below the Best Continuation of a Franchise: ★ Skyfall.

Best Sci-Fi/Fantasty Flick That Nerds and Jocks Can Both Enjoy:
Cloud Atlas
The Hobbit: An Unexpected JourneyThe Hunger Games
John Carter
★ Looper
Even though the science boasts more Looper-holes than “Peabody’s Improbable History,” strap into this flick if only to go back and erase the Worst Sci-Fi Fantasy Flick: ★ Total Recall.

Scariest Horror Flick for the Wrong Reason:
The Apparition
The Devil Inside
★ The House at the End of the Street
The Possession
Silent Hill: Revelation 3D
Truthfully, audiences should’ve just turned back after Last House on the Left.

Most Painfully Unfunny Comedy:
The Campaign
The Dictator
Playing for Keeps
The Three Stooges
★ The Watch



★Academy Award Picks★

Now, without further foot-dragging or back-peddling, here are my predictions for how this year’s Academy Awards race will break down with some color commentary from some local celebrities.

Actress in a Supporting Role:
Amy Adams, The Master
Sally Field, Lincoln
★Anne Hathaway, Les Misérables
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Jacki Weaver, Silver Linings Playbook
Indeed, these are all award-worthy performances. Still, one stands out and that’s Hathaway’s tear-swept turn. J.W. Colwell, WBRE’s PA Live Movie Guy, agrees but offers more: “The only upset chance is Sally Field because they like her! They really like her!”



Actor in a Supporting Role:
Alan Arkin, Argo
★ Robert De Niro, Silver Linings Playbook
Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
In this wide open race, De Niro (already a Best Supporting Actor for The Godfather, Part II and Best Actor winner for Raging Bull), will end up cinching the win. Tom Graham, electric city and diamond city columnist, disagrees: “I expect Waltz to dance his way through a memorable Oscar speech, weaving back and forth between comedy and sincere gratitude.”

Actress in a Leading Role:
Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
★ Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Emmanuelle, Riva, Amour Quvenzhané Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild
Naomi Watts, The Impossible
In a race that boasts the youngest (Wallis) and oldest (Riva) nominees ever, it’s a horse race between rising young stars and past nominees Chastian and Lawrence. Voters, however, will use this category to help reward underdog Silver Linings Playbook through Lawrence.

Actor in a Leading Role:
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
★ Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Hugh Jackman, Les Misérables
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master
Denzel Washington, Flight
Once again, these are all award-worthy performances, but the voters have anointed a frontrunner and that’s Day-Lewis. Graham agrees: “Daniel Day-Lewis is the man. There Will Be Blood, Gangs of New York, The Boxer, In the Name of the Father, The Last of the Mohicans, My Left Foot and Lincoln. Best resume ever.”

Animated Feature Film:
The Pirates! Band of Misfits
★ Wreck-It Ralph
Frankenweenie, stitched together from Tim Burton’s own spooky ooky CV, ranks among the best stop-motion animated flicks ever and deserves to win … but the Academy will vote for Ralph. Mike Evans, electric city and diamond city “Sights & Sounds” columnist, however, agrees that Frankenweenie should win: “If it turned only one little kid onto horror films, then all the effort was well worth it.”

Amour, Michael Haneke
Beasts of the Southern Wild, Benh Zeitlin
Life of Pi, Ang Lee
★ Lincoln, Steven Spielberg X
Silver Linings Playbook, David O. Russell
What each of these craftsman did was nothing short of awe-inspiring. However, the Academy will vote for Spielberg. Evans counters: “I want Ang Lee! The guy has never let me down.”

Best Picture:
Beasts of the Southern Wild
Django Unchained
Les Misérables
Life of Pi
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty
It’s a wonderful year for film and filmgoing, so all of these nominees, save for the exquisitely artful but overrated Beasts of the Southern Wild, would be welcome additions to the roster of past Best Picture winners. Still, because Ben Affleck was snubbed by the Academy for his directing duties, the fruits of his labor, the box office and critical triumph Argo, will take home the top prize. Colwell agrees: “If you had told me Lincoln would be bidding for an upset three months ago, I would have openly laughed and mocked you.”
— jeff boam


%d bloggers like this: