Wing Kings

Bart & Urby's puts an end to melancholy Mondays

Gene Padden

There was a time in Wilkes-Barre way back, oh, about a year ago, when you had to hit some dive bar like Super Chubb's or Thunder Gut or Fat-Ass Picnic to get yourself a good batch of wings.

They might not serve ice-cold beer or a decent turkey wrap, but when you need a bucket of bite-sized buffalo chunks to choke on while the Eagles cough up another one, dammnit these little crack-in-the-wall joints step to the plate.

Bart & Urby's Downtown Bar & Bistro has changed that. How could an upscale reprieve that also offers Roasted Shallot Marinated Shrimp and Broiled Filet Mignon on its menu also dish out a dozen of Fat America's favorites?

Innovation, innovation, innovation. In one short year, Chef Tony Griffith's wings have taken over the valley. And if you drop by on a Monday and add a $1 Yuengling Lager to your order, these wings are the butters.

Now, you would think that nothing goes well with Yuengling, except maybe more Yuengling, but there is a purpose for Yuengling in this world, and it's to assuage your peppered palate after some of the bistro's more seasoned offerings. While the mild goes down without confrontation, you may consider calling for back up after even a sniff of the Vader variety.

In fact, if you can finish a dozen of these mouth punchers, it's on the house.

"One guy comes in every week and does it, but almost nobody else can," said owner Brian Urbanas. "You can only use two drops per gallon because it's so strong."

The Vader wings are intriguing, but after a shitty Monday, putting out mouth flames wasn't high on the to-do list. We sucked down a dozen each of Red Garlic, mild, Sweet Thai, and Hawaiian instead.

Clearly, the sauce is what wins Bart & Urby's awards. The menu needs an option to have Chef Tony pour the Hawaiian sauce directly down your flappy gullet. They flood the dish with it, so it's like bobbing for chicken-shaped pineapples. (Note: We don't condone bobbling for actual pineapples; you wouldn't want your face poked by a filthy pineapple).

Not only is the sauce abundant, its texture owns. Wings can't have thick sauce, like marinara, because then we know they're masking the cheap meat. And it can't be runny and greasy. (I already know this glop is corroding my veins. I don't need the reminder running down my arms.)

Blue cheese? Irrelevant. You might as well throw it at the bartender. This overrated tag team is not in the same ballpark as these wings. In fact, a just and loving god wouldn't even allow blue cheese to browse the phone book to find said ballpark.

Monday nights. Yuengs and wings at Bart & Urby's. It's in the phone book. Do it.